The Peach Tree

by Robin/AZ Dec. 2025

I was young and I didn’t understand why I had to be alive. It didn’t seem to make much sense to me. There was so much unhappiness everywhere, especially my mother…and my father. It was a difficult time. There was a lot of fighting and unrest and I kept to myself. I learned how to not ask for help, just to keep quiet and keep myself in tack. I didn’t understand why I had to be alive. I didn’t feel wanted. I felt like everything was my fault. That’s what children do, they think everything is their fault, so I thought it was my fault. “If I had not been born they wouldn’t be so unhappy.”

So, I asked God what was the purpose. This was a big question for someone so small. I had come to know the Lord when I was eight and at this time I was nine-ish.

My sanctuary was the swimming pool in the backyard. I could go there and cry and no one would know. I could go underwater and scream and no one would know. I would always feel better in the pool and would stay in the water all day long. I loved the water! And I still do.

I’d have conversations with the Lord. It was purer than as I didn’t have all the worries and stuff of the world on me at that time and just wanted to understand the “whys.” Why this and why that? I wanted to know the why behind having such an unhappy life.

And God showed me. Beside the pool there was a dwarf peach tree in a pot. It was in a very pretty little spot by the pool where this peach tree sat in a prominent position. It was small, only about two feet high in a very bright yellow pot.

And as I looked at that tree God spoke to me. He said, “That is your father. Your father did not get all the love and nutrients and the role models that he needed growing up so it is smaller.” My dad’s ability to love is just smaller because he did not get the love he needed.” I understood!

That tree could put out one peach every year. That was it. But the peaches were regular size so you’d have this tiny little tree with this big fat peach. And the message became clear on that day by the pool. We don’t all get the love that we actually deserve as humans and our capacity for loving is than dwarfed.

I felt compassion for my dad knowing that when he was a little boy of eight years old his father took off leaving a household of nine kids behind. That was hard. So who could blame him for being a hard-hearted man? Who could blame him? He did provide for us. We never had to worry about that. It was just the lack of love that was missing.

It wasn’t until that peach tree that I realized that not all of us grow to our full potential because the birthright of love is not always met. My dad was doing the best that he could and I was doing the best that I could do and maybe that is all that we can ask of each other.

And maybe this whole thing is actually a blessing. You don’t search for something unless there is something missing. And you don’t find the source of all the all pure and encompassing love of God until you find the need to search for it.